This recipe was invented after escaping the cacophony of stern pandemic measures of Australia for a lull of softly swaying boats , long days spent foraging for fruits and herbs and the repetitive hum of waves rolling pebbles in Vis, Croatia. Island life was like a balm on my soul at that point – inhale, exhale, repeat. 

All I thought about at that point was keeping my diet healthy and getting enough sun every day — my nerves were shot , I felt like keeping sane was a full time job and I couldn’t imagine what sort of life I wanted anymore. My next door neighbour complained about his life though —  he wanted to go to Australia and make a lot of money. I laughed at the twisted irony of our mutual jealousy of each other — mine that he lives in a 300 year old house by the sea he owns outright, eats yummy seafood all day long, works hard for only 6 months of tourist season, spends winter playing video games, his kids attending a free school mere minutes away. For many around the world his life would be dreamy and yet he feels like he doesn’t have enough because he lacks the luxury items he covets.

This conversation made me reflect on how our needs and wishes became shaped by media and popular culture, shaping the scope of our gratitude. To me, breathwork in the sun charging my cells like a rock lizard, listening to the whisper of evergreen trees carrying a scent of pine on the breeze, a nightly talk to fishermen about their catch, freedom to explore was peace and plenty. I understood that he felt isolated, on a small island without many people but to me being alone isn’t being lonely when the starry heavens open up like fireworks at night, unhindered by smog and light pollution, when cute, little fish nibble on your toes as the feet dangle off the pier, when there is enough to eat and a roof overhead, when the bluest blue of the sea penetrates so deeply into anxiety it engulfs it in comfort. And I thought – oh my maybe we should move here!

Then my teenage daughter arrived and nixed the whole idea of moving to a small outpost in the middle of butt f*ck no where Adriatic, outraged I would even consider dragging her away from her exciting life in Sydney.  I could see her perspective and laughed at the dichotomy.

This recipe was born out of my adoration for the loquat – a chronically underused and undervalued fruit in personal opinion – a small, tangy, seeded nugget bursting with flavour that only ripens for a short time in early spring. Not sure how to describe the taste of loquat for those that have never had it – I suppose it’s something like apricot, pineapple, citrus and apple having a baby, the thin skin bursting to uncover intense flavour inside. At this time I was trying to eat a lot more blue fish for health reasons ( omega 3 is so calming to the nervous system ), so I’d hit up fishermen for nourishing goodies nightly. Not entirely sure what this fish is called – endemic to the Adriatic it similar in taste and texture to the mackerel, but not well known or cultivated commercially. This recipe is a burst of fresh citrus – fruity but salty and oily, great for skin and hair.

INGREDIENTS ( serves one generously or two as an entree )

• 1 bulb of fennel, cored and chopped up finely or sliced ( reserve the fronds for stuffing fish)
• 1 small purple onion or half a larger onion
• A handful or two of cherry tomatoes, halved
• A handful or two of loquats, halved, seeded and chopped up
• Freshly squeezed juice of one lemon and one orange
• Mint leaves to preference
• Chopped up pistachio
• Extra virgin olive oil to taste
• 2 x blue fish, gutted and de-scaled
• Salt and pepper

METHOD:

Stuff the fish with thin orange slices, salt and pepper and the reserved fennel fronds, turn the oven on to 220 fan forced and grill to high. Cook depending on the strength of your oven and grill, these fish only needed about 8 minutes on each side before they developed crispy skin and cooked through in my oven but bigger fish or weaker ovens will need a little longer. Assemble all the other ingredients into a bowl in the meantime , season and serve! Bon apetit !